The empty box and brick wall

Some days it feels like my head will explode with ideas for doodles, future client work, college assignments and blog posts. Other days it feels like there is nothing there but inconsequential Styrofoam bits of nothingness. I rummage round for signs of life, but just find dust. I have been looking at all my college notes and trying to get the rest of my work finished. I look back at the work and realised that I loved every minute of it, especially when writing up my own philosophy towards therapy and counselling.

Which can be found here (if you want to have a look).

So if I enjoyed every minute of college, what the hell am I waiting for!
Get bloody on with it!

Last year was pretty awful, nearly all of it was spent under exceptionally stressful circumstances, which culminated in the mumborg having her leg amputated. The mumborg is my mum, you can read about the operation here and all posts mum related are here. The operation went well, as well as these things can go and she is finally home.

Other times I feel like I am either running into or building too many of these.

During stressful times, walls are built and forcefields are set to maximum, just to get through the day.There was many a time last year, when I thought mum was going to die, although she assured me that would not be the case and to get on with my bloody work. So I would switch from being deathly worried to pissed off that she was still in hospital. Then I hopped back on the guilty train when they finally made the decision that the leg would have to go and this was a 'serious' operation. As I mentioned above, the operation went well, mum is doing great now. So finally I could relax, after months of worry, then I promptly got swine flu and have been ill ever since! So as the stress walls crumbled, so apparently did my immune system. So as one wall crumbles, I run head first into another.

The photographs are all part of my 365 photo a day project, they turned out pretty serendipitous don't you think? I didn't know what I was going to write, till I actually started writing. This page has been blank for most of the day, kind of like me.

It is hard work, this personal development lark. You open up yourself and see your own little world through shiny new eyes. It is inspiring, thoughtful and a whole feast of wonderful things, but the sun glares down on your new eyes at times and it all feels a bit raw. I suppose this could explain my new appreciation of music, I should emphasise that I mean 'good' music and with that, I am afraid blubbering occurs! Something about being in a certain melancholic mood and haunting vocals that now equate to me blubbering. To be honest, it is not sad crying, just going with the flow. All that tampering with ones empathy levels, has a strange effect, don't even mention sad puppy adverts or TV charity appeals or the ruddy news.

Never fear, I am never melancholic for long, not when you can put a donk on it.....

Please forgive me for this, but watch this youtube clip 'Put a donk on it'

(You need to watch that, well maybe not 'need').

/seconds later....

Did you watch the 'Donk' video? If so, I am sure you will never take me seriously again, which may have been an evil ploy, so that you don't think I have gone all soppy and melancholic. The Donkness also gives you a wee glimpse into the music of my 'youth' and how ones tastes change over the years.

From Donk to the Down-Tempo and everything in between.

My three thumbs UP of the week go to the music blog Slowcoustic, I first discovered this blog when my musical chum @Tartytart wrote a guest post over there, which inspired my snogging post. Since then I have been catching every musical tidbit that slowcoustic throws our way, it is treat to your ear lobes!

So now that I have waffled on, I am off to do battle with my Boggart.