The bogart in my brain

This is a wordy post for me; it may cause some people to faint in shock. Not at the content, just the fact that I wrote a long post. 

I was perusing through the several million posts currently languishing in my Google reader. If you don't know what I am talking about, the Google reader is like a dream catcher for blogs or it's actually this Google Reader. Anyhow back to the stream of consciousness that I am currently riding on, whilst perusing I came across a post entitled The Better Bogart Within and thought Aha! That is exactly how I have been feeling lately, so I merrily clicked on it to read more.

Hold the phone! Wait a bloody minute! How could I have been so wrong, that is not the Bogart I have been looking for (lame sort of Star Wars joke). The post in question talks about Humphrey Bogart and I already know from my wee twitter experiment, that Bogart evokes images of Mr Bogart the famous actor. So when I read the word Bogart, what popped into my noggin? 

Which is actually one of these: Boggart

Why did I identify with the Boggart in the first place?

In various children's books and films, the Boggart is something nice that turns into something rather nasty when you upset it, insult it, poke it and just generally piss off the bugger. Well after writing down my feelings of late, I feel like I have been a bit of a Boggart, more to the point I have been feeding mine.

My interpretation of a Boggart, let us call him/her H.Bogart (a nod to good old Humphrey), is that part of you that feeds on all the negative stuff happening around you, on a mostly subconscious level. I say mostly, because sometimes you are more than aware of the stuff that is impacting you negatively. Before you know it, you have manifested your very own Boggart on the brain. My kind of Boggart is not a mythical beast from folklore, but a more tangible beast that lives in my head. What and why have I been feeding this beast of mine?

What does my Boggart eat?

Stress is like a Chinese banquet for a family of six for my Boggart. That stress can be split into handy Boggart sized portions, covering every aspect of my life, from lack of sleep to worrying about a multitude of things. All of this equals one big fat hairy bloody Boggart and if this is all in your head, it can certainly weigh you down. How do you get your Boggart to weigh less? Put them on a ruddy diet! Easier said than done I hear you cry! I have tried diets and they suck monkey's balls. Well guess what? Effort goes into producing a fat hairy bloody Boggart, so effort is needed to lighten the load. Whether it is baby steps or monster steps, just looking in the right direction is a start. Heck thinking about looking in the right direction is a start.

Putting the Boggart on a Diet

Remember your Boggart may be lazy, anti-social and a bit stinky. Also getting him out of that mental closet will prove a tad difficult. Here are some pointers to getting rid of that Boggart mental flab hanging around.

Talk about it- Although you may still be hairy and look like a Boggart, with a bit a spit stuck in your whiskers from all that ranting and raving. I still recommend finding an ear to listen to you, whether that is friends, family, doctor or whatever trusted ear you chose.

Write about it- Not necessarily blog it like me, I am lucky to have this as an outlet. I do occasionally pick up a pen and write on paper! It is a revelation. The good thing about paper is that it burns and it is great at times to write whole load of brain spillage and then burn it. Careful the Boggart may try to eat the paper and crayons, they are funny like that.

Draw it out- Well obviously I love doodling and that works for me. Just think of how many other art forms there are to use and abuse in order to get some of that stuff out of your head. Remember the Boggart and their tendency to eat drawing materials.

Scream about it, Cry about it, Walk it out, Run it out, Swim it out, Dig it out (gardening not lobotomy), Dance it out, Blast it out (musically not explosives).

What do you feed your Boggart? Does it have a name?

Self awareness is the key to combating the inner Boggart; put him/her on a diet if you can. According to folklore the worst thing you can do is give a Boggart a name, but to that I say phooey! 

Don't hate your Boggart; just don't ignore him/her either.

Negative things happen all the time, shit happens, the less polite of us will say. Don't kick yourself in the face when something bad happens, just try and minimise the damage that it does by talking things out, or whatever works for you (See Boggart Diet). If you haven't found anything that works, then try something new. I know, I know, easier said than done in some cases, but that mental shift has to happen to make any difference to your inner Boggart. For your inner Boggart, a lucky horseshoe aint going to do much at all in ridding you of your Boggart like feelings.

Final piece of Boggart Advice: Do not try and escape your Boggart by running away, he will follow you whether you go, unless dealt with correctly. A real Boggart will follow its family from abode to abode, but a mental Boggart lives in your head and you can't escape from yourself. That is not meant to sound all woe is me! Boggart battling may sound scary (or ridiculous), but the outcome is worthwhile.

In my Boggart research I came across this fantastic post and it seems I am not original at all when it comes to using the Boggart as a metaphor for those internal struggles:

Freud, Id, Boggarts And Dementors

Consider my post 'The idiots guide to Boggarts and their ritualistic feeding habits' and the above linked post as 'Boggarts for the Enlightened'. I kind of hate this person for already writing a Boggart post, especially a good one! Curses to them, but it was too good to pretend I hadn't read it and it deserves three thumbs up (Uh oh I am feeling a bit of a green eyed Boggart coming on, back beast,backkkkkkkkkkkkk).


Did this make any sense? If not, just ignore it and blame bloody Humphrey Bogart (What a twat).

/runs off to find a dark closet