True Story! Honest.This is a disturbing tale of attempted murder, torture and downright evilness!
Whilst having a wee online chat with some of my chums, there was definite swearing and obscenities coming from one person.
After enquiring that she was safe and had not had a little accident, Mags informed us that she was being attacked by a spider that was " The size of an ORANGE!"
and it was fast as F**K too! she then precedes to chase the spider and capture him with a mug.
I then wrongly assumed that she would release Henry (I decided on this name) to the great outdoors.But No! She was determined to either leave Henry to die in that mug (there was already something dead there) or FEED him to her cat!
After hours (OK minutes) of me and Mo pleading with her to release poor Henry, she was determined to kill him some way and her last thought was to vacuum him! (Linda suggested this! evil).
I went to bed very sad.
Latest news from Mags:
"I shall have you know, Henry (as you like to call him) is free.
I was touched by Claire's...well, being a little touched (ha!) and I braved it out and let him go outside."
That's meant to Henry being released, but i just cant quite believe her.A unbiased witness Comedy Plus could be called to verify this attempted evil act.
What would you of done to Henry?
Posts
splat!
ReplyDeletesmiles, bee
Evil! i curse thousand spiders to land on you in the night!
ReplyDeleteIt's all true. Every word is true. I thought Henry was a gonner. I'm glad Mags did right by Henry. Well, I hope she did the right thing and set Henry free. It's a good thing we love her so much!!!
ReplyDeleteGreat job Claire... :)
I missed the part of the chat where she said that he was "big as an orange" so I guess that vacuuming him up might not have been such a good idea after all - he would've blocked up the bloody hose!
ReplyDeleteAnd if you will remember correctly little Missy, I initially said to slide a piece of paper under the cup and take him outside! So there!!
SPLAT!!!!!
ReplyDeletesmiles, bee
Yup, I'm with bee...SPLAT!
ReplyDelete(shivers) I hate spiders!!!
Dead spider is a good spider!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you're drawing is not accurate. He was WAY bigger than that.
ReplyDeleteSecond, I did, indeed let him go free. I almost shit myself doing so, but I did, because I love my Claire.
And also, it was Mo who said to have Zoe eat Henry, not me.
*hrumph* Why do I always gotta be the bad guy?
;)
Oh, and Bee-where were you last night when I needed a little support? LOL
ReplyDeleteUnless it's a black widow, I take them outside so they can eat my garden pests! But black widows get the axe. Sorry guys.
ReplyDeleteOverall, spiders don't bother me at all, just widows. Now, my hubman is a different story. He got one the other night and told me he squashed it and heard it "pop." GROSS.
I would have adopted him for sure. He and his pals could save me a fortune in Halloween Decorations and then the webs sprayed silver or gold look great at Christmas too :o)
ReplyDeleteHe looks HUGE! I would have ended the chat, locked myself in another room & waited for someone else to dispose of him any which way they likes . . . ."SPLAT to Bee"
ReplyDeleteI most definitely would have given him the boot - probably with the heel.
ReplyDeleteI'd have left him wandering round the house cos spiders eat flies and I hate flies!
ReplyDeleteWhat exactly is this picture of, anyway????
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that Mags released Henry back into the wild, but really - let's hope that we don't have to rely on Mags' photographic skills for evidence on the existence of Bigfoot or anything....
;)